Here's a nice, shitty present for everybody: you're all goin' to Hell!

But hey, that's not a bad thing at all! Take it from someone who's put up with all of Heaven's dicks firsthand-and that's not literally, fuck, that place is full of the most stuck-up prudes ever. I hardly ever got any action! Anyway, point is, you're way better off on any ( Read more... )

[did someone call for a showoff? because a showoff is definitely what's showing up on the network today. when the feed comes on, it shows nothing but a glare at first... but once that fades, a room can be seen! and that room is completely decked out in jewels. almost every surface is covered in sparkling gems, and in the middle of all this elegance ( Read more... )

Y'know, I'm never complainin' about guys havin' big heads, but...

[it just seems like every time Panty turns on the camera, she's pissed off, huh? she seems like she has a good reason this time, though (does she ever have good reasons...)-while everyone else gets cool cheat codes, she gets stuck with... yep. her head's comically twice the size it' ( Read more... )

[it looks like Panty's down on the planet, doing her tourism job for the month! very... dressed for the part, you could say. she's at the very end of her leg of the tour, so she turns on her Guide to throw something up on the network... when a horde of zombies come near her tour group! looking exasperated, she throws her Guide on the ground because ( Read more... )

[on screen now is a tiny little blonde girl, facing the same problem that everyone else seems to be having! namely, her current clothes are way too big for her current state of being. this is possibly the most covered the angel will ever be seen. however, as she's only been affected in body, she seems to have a much, much more pressing matter on ( Read more... )

[good morning, residents of the Thor! what you are currently being greeted with-if you have your content filters off, at least-is everyone's favorite (...?) angel, dressed in... oh god what the fuck is that (slightly NSFW!). behind her is a sex sports shop, with racks full of identical... outfits. if they can even be called that ( Read more... )

[this month, stocking is in this talent show which is a pretty big hit lately on television. and if you've been watching it every Saturday, you'd know that stocking is at the bottom and maybe getting voted off if she doesn't come up with something amazing in her performance.]

[as the announcer states that it's stocking's turn to be on stage, there ( Read more... )

[with less than an hour to go before the Gardentasta officially begins, a certain dressed-up someone is showing up on the feed, bringing her mask up to show her winking deviously. she's certainly looking better than she did in her last broadcast; probably a very good sign.]Anyone lookin' for a date to crash this garden party shit? C'mon, going ( Read more... )

Tch, this better have worked right, stupid piece of shit...

[the feed turns on to a particularly apathetic-looking angel, looking strangely... re...gretful? what the fuck is going on here?]All right, listen up. Say you did some messed up shit to someone and ended up fucking things up for them big time. And it was funny as hell at first, but now it ( Read more... )

[the feed opens up to Panty, her back turned to the camera. it seems like she's in the auditorium, covered in a sort of shawl that covers the rest of her body. after a few dramatic seconds of silence, she holds up her hand and begins to snap.]

5, 6, 7, 8!

[she then turns around as spotlights focus on her, casting off the throw and revealing ( Read more... )